At 18, a freshman at college, lonely and miserable, I started binging on foods that would give me that serotonin kick for an instant jolt of happiness: pizza, ice cream, candy—you know the drill. I hated myself, and I hated that horrible feeling I got after I stuffed my body to the breaking point. Binge, purge, binge, purge, binge, purge: a massive bulimic was born.Perhaps it's not a surprise that I had some of the loneliest, most disastrous relationships with men and sex during those same years."Understand that your body is a living, breathing, feeling, decision-making animal that already knows what to eat, how to exercise, and what it needs to feel great and look great. What if we locked our child in a dark room and told him or her to type on a computer for 12 hours straight, stopping only to pour coffee down his or her throat to keep him or her working?
"When you're in a state of disapproval about your body, men pick up on it," Jena explains."A woman who disapproves of her body, her appetite, her beauty, and her pleasure, has a disadvantage in the game of love, even if she's gorgeous.“He wanted to be with me..he went along with it,” she says.“But, he didn’t [want] to hook up with anyone else.”Part of the reason Jenna sought non-exclusivity was because she didn’t want to be forced to ignore her attraction to women.But, [meeting my husband] was the first time it felt like I was with the best person for me.
It would bother me if he hooked up with someone else.”That anecdote dovetails perfectly with one of the myths nay-sayers echo to undermine non-monogamous relationships: that it's just a phase until the right person comes along.Though today Jenna is monogamously married to a man, she considers her relationship with her husband one of the only ones in which she’s wanted to be completely exclusive.“Of course, I’m still attracted to other people; everyone is attracted to other people.As actress Emma Thompson opined in a 2013 interview with Mumsnet, “I do think that monogamy is an odd state, and actually I think it's an odd state for women.”, Showtime’s sexy reality program about polyamorous couples and families who consensually maintain multiple relationships at the same time.Even OKCupid began offering members the option to indicate whether they’re looking for a strictly or "slightly" monogamous relationship."I've always been non-monogamous — it's an indisputable part of my identity, like being queer."Another myth about non-monogamy is that it’s the easy way out, and that its participants are promiscuous and careless.